Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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