I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want her autograph on my taint
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
