are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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