Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
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I just had sex on a roof
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
