Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
