I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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