Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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