Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
