Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
