Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
