walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
