nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
