Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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