I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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