I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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