Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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