Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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