can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
