if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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