the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
