That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
