We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
