Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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