I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
