my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
