Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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