I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
