We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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