I think scott just propositioned me for sex
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
