Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
