So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
