I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
