So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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