Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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