:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize