what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
