Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize