i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
