Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
