i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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