Sponge bath it is.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize