Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
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