just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
