Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
