Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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