i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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