very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do herpes really smell.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
