Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
