Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize