You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
