Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize