GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
