He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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