I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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