If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
