Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
