I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
