Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
