so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
