I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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