Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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