He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
