margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
