awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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